When I was about 8 years old, I got signed up for a carnatic violin class. My teacher was a lovely person called Mohana akka. She used to come to our home in a rural town and teach me. Apparently, I was pretty good. Picked it up well. So I am told even now by her. Despite breaking the strings at least 10 times with my overenthusiastic approach. (It's not a good sound when you go hard on the violin).
But at that age, it will be fallacy to even contemplate that one can appreciate music for what it truly is. I certainly did not then. But it did not take me very long to understand that music is something that sets the human race apart. And something that binds us as a whole.
Music adds flavour to our thoughts, our moods, our perspectives. Its a really nice feeling when you find a piece of music that you like or relate to. It almost..... reinforces your state of mind to yourself. Validates it. Makes you LIVE it that bit more.
The first piece of music that I drew something from, was "Lose yourself" from the 8 mile sound track, released 2003. I still remember going for a run in my hostel treadmill, this song playing on the speakers from the radio.
"Look....If you had... one shot... one opportunity, to seize everything that you ve ever wanted...would you capture it.. or let it slip.."
2 weeks later was my first health sciences exam - Chemistry113. I got 97%.
:-D Now, whether eminem had anything to do with that or not......without going into nostalgic details, that setting was far beyond challenging myself just academically...
There are some pieces of music, that would make you feel as if you can do anything you want to. Feel Powerful. Another such song was the title song from the hindi film Dum, which I happened to see in my second or third year of college. (Nothing too special about it... I just happen to like that song.)
Music is a powerful medium of expression. A good song is just as inspiring to a mass as a powerful speech. Looking back at history, many freedom movements have invariably used songs and music to convey an idea, to inspire people, to instill patriotism, pride.
And what about religion. That most perplexing human creation. Whether I am cynical or not about religion, devotion to God, can be no better conveyed than through music. This is universal. I have been to several catholic masses, where songs in praise of Jesus Christ are seriously the best aspect of them. But, this is especially so in the hindu religion. I dont need to give examples, but carnatic music and folk music are basically part and parcel of the worshipping rituals of South India. Aspects of my culture, that certainly invoke fondness...
And last but not the least, I am going to feel free to deliberately leave out discussing music being a medium of expression and communication of love. Because this post will then turn to custard ;-)
Having never been a music performer myself, I had a few opportunities in my university and intern years to perform. Being in New Zealand, music was the easiest and most entertaining way to share the rich subcontinental culture with people from different backgrounds. For which I am most grateful, and I hope I get other opportunities.
This is hardly a sophisticated post. The impact of music in human culture cannot be summarised in a blog. May be in a particularly good PhD thesis. So having gabbed on, how lucky are we to live in an age, where good music is so easily accessible. But is there any substitute to catching a tune unexpectedly from someone singing to themselves. Unaware and oblivious to who was listening. Imperfect, incomplete but beautiful nonetheless...
I think not mate... I think not.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
A post in tamil - old school
தமிழில் எழுத வேண்டும் என்று திடீர் ஆசை. இவ்வாறு தட்டச்சு செய்ய ஆரம்பித்ததுமே ஒரு விவரிக்க இயலா மகிழ்ச்சி. அதுவும் எனக்கே உரிய ஒரு இணையதளத்தில் தமிழில் கருத்துக்களை பரிமாற்றிக்கொள்ள ஒரு மேடை கிடைத்திருக்கிறதே!
அப்போது என்ன வயது, எந்த வகுப்பில் படித்து கொண்டிருந்தேன் என்பதெல்லாம் நினைவில்லை.....
எதை பற்றி எழுத போகின்றேன் என்று முன்னரே யோசிக்கவில்லை........
எனினும்....
சின்ன வயதில் எனக்கு கதை கேட்பது, கதை புத்தகங்கள் படிப்பதில் எல்லாம் படு ஆர்வம். "பாட புத்தகத்தை எடுத்து வைத்து படியேன் டா, உருப்படுவாய்." பல முறை அம்மாவிடம் திட்டு வாங்கியிருக்கிறேன்.
செய்தித்தாளின் இணைப்புகளான சிறுவர் மலர், சிறுவர் மணி இதற்காகவே காலங்காலையில் வெளியில் காத்திருப்பேன்.
ஆனால் உடனே நினைவுக்கு தோன்றுவது தமிழில் நான் மிகவும் படித்து "ரசித்த" முதல் நூல். "வெற்றித்திருமகன்"
எனினும்....
சின்ன வயதில் எனக்கு கதை கேட்பது, கதை புத்தகங்கள் படிப்பதில் எல்லாம் படு ஆர்வம். "பாட புத்தகத்தை எடுத்து வைத்து படியேன் டா, உருப்படுவாய்." பல முறை அம்மாவிடம் திட்டு வாங்கியிருக்கிறேன்.
செய்தித்தாளின் இணைப்புகளான சிறுவர் மலர், சிறுவர் மணி இதற்காகவே காலங்காலையில் வெளியில் காத்திருப்பேன்.
ஆனால் உடனே நினைவுக்கு தோன்றுவது தமிழில் நான் மிகவும் படித்து "ரசித்த" முதல் நூல். "வெற்றித்திருமகன்"
அப்போது என்ன வயது, எந்த வகுப்பில் படித்து கொண்டிருந்தேன் என்பதெல்லாம் நினைவில்லை.....
ஒரு நாள் பாட்டி வீட்டில் ஏதோ ஈ ஒட்டி கொண்டிருந்தேன். வீட்டில் அனைவரும் எங்கோ சென்றிருந்தார்கள். இல்லை தொலைக்காட்சியில் ஆழ்ந்திருந்தார்கள். படு வெறுப்பாக இருந்த ஞாபகம். படியேறி மாடிக்கு சென்றேன். அங்கு தாத்தாவினுடைய நூல்கள் பல குவிந்து கிடந்தன.
சிலப்பதிகாரம், திருக்குறள், பாரதியார் கவிதைகள்.......
ஹ்ம்ம் ச்சே, பிடித்த மாதிரியோ நேரத்துக்கு ஏற்ற மாதிரியோ ஒன்றுமே இல்லையே.... அப்போது சட்டென்று ஒரு வண்ணம் கலந்த அட்டை கண்களை கவர்ந்தது. மற்ற நூல்களை விலக்கி கையில் எடுத்தேன். சுமார் 200 பக்கங்கள் இருக்கும். அட்டையில் "சிவனுதிசை" வில்லை இராமர் முறிக்கும் படம்.
இராமாயணம். எளிமையான நாடக நடையில். ஒவ்வொரு பாத்திரமும் அவ்வளவு தெளிவாக சித்தரிக்கப் பட்டிருந்தனர். கதையின் படி நல்லவர்களோ கெட்டவர்களோ, யாரையுமே வெறுக்க தோன்றவில்லை. எல்லோருமே கதாநாயகர்களாக தான் தெரிந்தனர். எனக்கு மிகவும் பிடித்திருந்த கதாபாத்திரங்கள் அனுமன், இலக்குவன் (லக்ஷ்மணன்) , மற்றும் பரதன். இந்திரஜித்துக்கு தனி ஸ்டைல்.
இராமாயணம். எளிமையான நாடக நடையில். ஒவ்வொரு பாத்திரமும் அவ்வளவு தெளிவாக சித்தரிக்கப் பட்டிருந்தனர். கதையின் படி நல்லவர்களோ கெட்டவர்களோ, யாரையுமே வெறுக்க தோன்றவில்லை. எல்லோருமே கதாநாயகர்களாக தான் தெரிந்தனர். எனக்கு மிகவும் பிடித்திருந்த கதாபாத்திரங்கள் அனுமன், இலக்குவன் (லக்ஷ்மணன்) , மற்றும் பரதன். இந்திரஜித்துக்கு தனி ஸ்டைல்.
அவர்கள் பேசிய வசனங்கள், வருணிக்க பட்டிருந்த போர் காட்சிகள், எல்லாம் நானே என்னவோ அவர்கள் மத்தியில் இருந்த மாதிரி தோன்றியது.
அந்த புத்தகத்தை நான் எவ்வளவு முறை படித்தேனோ. ஆனால் அதன் பிறகு நான் மறுபடியும் தமிழில் ஒரு நூலை படித்து ரசித்தது இந்தியாவிலேயே இல்லை!
மருத்துவ கல்லூரியில் நான்காவது ஆண்டு முடிந்திருந்த நேரம். 2 மாதம் விடுமுறை. ஒரு அழகான கோடை நாள். "காக்கா மாதிரி திரிவதை விட்டு ஏதாவது உருப்படியா பண்ணேன் டா" (அம்மா)....
ஆக்லாந்தில் ஒரு புற நகர் பகுதிக்கு ஒரு நூலகம் இருக்கும். நூல்கள் கடன் வாங்குவது முற்றிலும் இலவசம்! மற்றும் ஒரு மாதம் அவகாசம், திரும்ப கொடுப்பதற்கு.
அங்கு ஒரு மணி நேரம் அப்படியே வலம் வந்து விட்ட பின், என்னை பல வாரங்கள் ஆழ்த்திய அருமையான ஒரு தமிழ் புத்தகத்தை வீட்டுக்கு எடுத்துச்சென்றேன்.
அமரர் கல்கியின் "பொன்னியின் செல்வன்" என்ற வரலாற்று புதினத்தை எனக்கு அறிமுகம் செய்த அந்த சின்ன ஆக்லாந்து நூலகத்தை
என்றென்றும் மறக்க இயலாது.
எனவே.. பொன்னியின் செல்வன்..... இதை பற்றி அடுத்த (அல்லது அதற்கு அடுத்த) இணையப்பதிப்பில்!
மருத்துவ கல்லூரியில் நான்காவது ஆண்டு முடிந்திருந்த நேரம். 2 மாதம் விடுமுறை. ஒரு அழகான கோடை நாள். "காக்கா மாதிரி திரிவதை விட்டு ஏதாவது உருப்படியா பண்ணேன் டா" (அம்மா)....
ஆக்லாந்தில் ஒரு புற நகர் பகுதிக்கு ஒரு நூலகம் இருக்கும். நூல்கள் கடன் வாங்குவது முற்றிலும் இலவசம்! மற்றும் ஒரு மாதம் அவகாசம், திரும்ப கொடுப்பதற்கு.
அங்கு ஒரு மணி நேரம் அப்படியே வலம் வந்து விட்ட பின், என்னை பல வாரங்கள் ஆழ்த்திய அருமையான ஒரு தமிழ் புத்தகத்தை வீட்டுக்கு எடுத்துச்சென்றேன்.
அமரர் கல்கியின் "பொன்னியின் செல்வன்" என்ற வரலாற்று புதினத்தை எனக்கு அறிமுகம் செய்த அந்த சின்ன ஆக்லாந்து நூலகத்தை
என்றென்றும் மறக்க இயலாது.
எனவே.. பொன்னியின் செல்வன்..... இதை பற்றி அடுத்த (அல்லது அதற்கு அடுத்த) இணையப்பதிப்பில்!
Monday, January 18, 2010
MEMORY
இனிய பொங்கல் வாழ்த்துக்கள்!
So..
I'd been at work today and amidst doing our usual stuff, we had a meeting about lung cancer.
As I was half zoning out and half paying attention to whoever was talking, my trainee intern happened to turn around and ask: "Do u know any particular features of Small cell Lung Cancer Dr?". Now it'd been a long time since I read up about lung cancer in that much detail. Probably for my final exams.
"uhh... yeah, the cells would be smaller relatively. the nucleus would be bigger relative to the cytoplasm though. It is more likely to be found in the bigger airways. It is a subtype that is strongly related to smoking. Generally has a grim prognosis. Not very successful in terms of operative resection."
"Oh right. Thanks"
It is beyond me to think that I had pulled out some of that from some study I had done a few years ago. But somehow, most of it is indeed true.
Being a "good" doctor can be bizarre. You do make important decisions based on your knowledge and recollection. It is your professional responsibility to know your stuff. But objectively, it can almost be disconcerting that a lot of the time, we do have to call upon some obscure thing we had read or experienced at some point in time to make life-deciding decisions, regardless of the level of our experience.
E.g., I had seen a patient the other day nearing the end of my shift around 10 pm. He LOOKED ok. Conscious, talking. But his BP was a bit on the low side. And he was very sweaty. Thats about it. But something about him wasn't quite right. So I thought I better talk to my senior night doctor about him just in case. Next morning I got a phone call saying he didn't make it through the night.
Of course, I am only describing something that is not that unusual in a hospital. But the ONLY thing that made me a little uneasy about him that night, was the fact that he was very sweaty, and sweatiness, though quite normal on a hot day can be associated with systemic and serious infection. On another day, on another patient, that little piece of info, whereever it was remembered from, could have a made a difference to someone being alive or dead......
PS:- On a lighter note, I dont have great powers of memory and recollection at all. Friends/family point out that I seem to be stuck in another planet most of the time, much to my indignation. I probably compensate for it by other means. (ஏதோ திருந்தினா சரி :-D)
.
So..
I'd been at work today and amidst doing our usual stuff, we had a meeting about lung cancer.
As I was half zoning out and half paying attention to whoever was talking, my trainee intern happened to turn around and ask: "Do u know any particular features of Small cell Lung Cancer Dr?". Now it'd been a long time since I read up about lung cancer in that much detail. Probably for my final exams.
"uhh... yeah, the cells would be smaller relatively. the nucleus would be bigger relative to the cytoplasm though. It is more likely to be found in the bigger airways. It is a subtype that is strongly related to smoking. Generally has a grim prognosis. Not very successful in terms of operative resection."
"Oh right. Thanks"
It is beyond me to think that I had pulled out some of that from some study I had done a few years ago. But somehow, most of it is indeed true.
Being a "good" doctor can be bizarre. You do make important decisions based on your knowledge and recollection. It is your professional responsibility to know your stuff. But objectively, it can almost be disconcerting that a lot of the time, we do have to call upon some obscure thing we had read or experienced at some point in time to make life-deciding decisions, regardless of the level of our experience.
E.g., I had seen a patient the other day nearing the end of my shift around 10 pm. He LOOKED ok. Conscious, talking. But his BP was a bit on the low side. And he was very sweaty. Thats about it. But something about him wasn't quite right. So I thought I better talk to my senior night doctor about him just in case. Next morning I got a phone call saying he didn't make it through the night.
Of course, I am only describing something that is not that unusual in a hospital. But the ONLY thing that made me a little uneasy about him that night, was the fact that he was very sweaty, and sweatiness, though quite normal on a hot day can be associated with systemic and serious infection. On another day, on another patient, that little piece of info, whereever it was remembered from, could have a made a difference to someone being alive or dead......
PS:- On a lighter note, I dont have great powers of memory and recollection at all. Friends/family point out that I seem to be stuck in another planet most of the time, much to my indignation. I probably compensate for it by other means. (ஏதோ திருந்தினா சரி :-D)
.
Friday, January 15, 2010
IDENTITY
This is a very complicated topic. But I have to say, is as spontaneous as my last entry was. In this blogpost,
I am not necessarily talking about MY own perceived "identity", but about the concept of identity overall.
I think most people ask themselves the question "Who am I?" at some point in time. Religion, language, nationality, political affiliation, political stand, ethnicity, caste (indians), economic background, job, gender and sexual orientation, food habit... so many parameters... Whats important?! What do I conserve? What do I pass on to the next generation?
Well, the obvious thing that stands out is that EVERYone can define themselves under ALL these categories. But the importance of each one varies between person to person. And varies with the context we are faced with at some point in time.
Human beings are very congregational by nature. It is in our evolution. They all want to relate to something. And derive comfort from the fact that there are people out there who think similarly. Talk similarly. Eat similarly. Worship similarly. They hate being isolated. It makes them uncomfortable. I sound like an evil condescending alien watching the planet from the stratosphere and making all these comments with a sneer...
But its true you will agree. This is how most identities are formed and maintained - you need numbers. And consequently the creation of a collective, perceived comfort zone, that you define subconsciously as you grow up and experience more of life.
And if numbers are not possible, a civilised supportive society that is conductive to the maintenance of an already conceived identity. that is conductive to the minority. and at the basic level, conductive to individuality.
I think having all these "identities" is awesome. But it is important that they remain as mutually exclusive as possible. Otherwise I think there is potential for people to get restricted to a microculture. This intrinsically is not conductive to individual perception and action - the building blocks of self and societal improvement.
Haha what wishful thinking. I think I have pretty much defined utopia here.
Personally I can relate to far more things than what is considered average. Sometimes even conflicting ideas and identities. This is my gift. My curse. "Who am I?" I am spiderman. ahem ahem. I mean.... What an utterly pointless question. Get on with it mate.
PRELUDE
DATE: 15/1/10
TIME: 0130 HOURS
LOCATION: Dunedin Public Hospital, RMO lounge.
An odd time to be embarking on a BLOG of all things?! geez.. But this is not a spontaneous venture. In a way i'd been postponing the inevitable. But what follows is as spontaneous as it gets. As blogs should be I think.
No one particularly INSPIRED me to start a blog, though some friends had suggested it before. Infact, this concept is not at all new to me. I write in a journal, (A diary for all you sissies/ladies), which still houses some of my "moments of triumphs", and stories of appalling frustrations. But this blog will have none of that. It will be more matter of fact. Less narcissistic. And more diverse. It will be a good read.
So, I was just patrolling the corridors of the hospital I work in. Night duty you see. I just came down to the doctor's lounge after reviewing some patient who was bleeding from her nose for the last 45 minutes. It has stopped now, after I put some pressure across her nose and packed her right nostril with some nasal packing. "Thank you dear" she said. "Alright Mrs XXX, that should take care of it". On my way down, my eyes caught this piece of writing on a wall.
"Each moment of lived experience feels immediate and real. The present overflows our senses as we receive and respond through bodies, emotions and thoughts. The immediate moment has barely begun before it is replaced by another, each quickly becoming the past - a memory, or forgotten forever.
Most of the time it is hard to put a value on what you are doing. Difficult to say that one moment is more important than the next...... Those many many unremarkable moments, too numerous to mention and ever increasing are what make up a life, an occupation.....a work of art"
I could relate to that in more ways than one, I thought, as I took in the beautiful night view of Dunedin city in the background, from the 7th floor of the hospital...
So to give you a COMPLETE picture of who I am as a person, or what my life is like/has been like, I am afraid is beyond the capabilites of my brain. Because if I describe something now, I am pretty sure i wouldnt be able to relate to that fully in a years time. The human concept of SELF is very dynamic. And constantly changing in response to external and internal influences. We just have to use our sensibilites and our morals in equal measure, to hold on to some good things and get rid of some bad things, as we carry on. Hopefully there is some consistency and integrity years down the line, instead of hypocrisy :-)
So this blog will probably evolve, as I evolve. And freeze some moments in time for your reading pleasure and hopefully I enjoy it too.
TIME: 0130 HOURS
LOCATION: Dunedin Public Hospital, RMO lounge.
An odd time to be embarking on a BLOG of all things?! geez.. But this is not a spontaneous venture. In a way i'd been postponing the inevitable. But what follows is as spontaneous as it gets. As blogs should be I think.
No one particularly INSPIRED me to start a blog, though some friends had suggested it before. Infact, this concept is not at all new to me. I write in a journal, (A diary for all you sissies/ladies), which still houses some of my "moments of triumphs", and stories of appalling frustrations. But this blog will have none of that. It will be more matter of fact. Less narcissistic. And more diverse. It will be a good read.
So, I was just patrolling the corridors of the hospital I work in. Night duty you see. I just came down to the doctor's lounge after reviewing some patient who was bleeding from her nose for the last 45 minutes. It has stopped now, after I put some pressure across her nose and packed her right nostril with some nasal packing. "Thank you dear" she said. "Alright Mrs XXX, that should take care of it". On my way down, my eyes caught this piece of writing on a wall.
"Each moment of lived experience feels immediate and real. The present overflows our senses as we receive and respond through bodies, emotions and thoughts. The immediate moment has barely begun before it is replaced by another, each quickly becoming the past - a memory, or forgotten forever.
Most of the time it is hard to put a value on what you are doing. Difficult to say that one moment is more important than the next...... Those many many unremarkable moments, too numerous to mention and ever increasing are what make up a life, an occupation.....a work of art"
I could relate to that in more ways than one, I thought, as I took in the beautiful night view of Dunedin city in the background, from the 7th floor of the hospital...
So to give you a COMPLETE picture of who I am as a person, or what my life is like/has been like, I am afraid is beyond the capabilites of my brain. Because if I describe something now, I am pretty sure i wouldnt be able to relate to that fully in a years time. The human concept of SELF is very dynamic. And constantly changing in response to external and internal influences. We just have to use our sensibilites and our morals in equal measure, to hold on to some good things and get rid of some bad things, as we carry on. Hopefully there is some consistency and integrity years down the line, instead of hypocrisy :-)
So this blog will probably evolve, as I evolve. And freeze some moments in time for your reading pleasure and hopefully I enjoy it too.
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