Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sense and sensibility

Over the last 2 years, I have done an insane amount of travelling. At the age of 24, 25, that WILL have profound effects on your psyche, because it is still being moulded. I would like to think that this moulding happens throughout your life, but I am going to have to accept that it happens more easily now.

I have never actually planned a set future for myself when I was younger. How boring. Not that I am wandering aimlessly to wherever life takes me, and I have never failed to honour commitments that I have made, nor am I planning to. But life has taught me that too strict a plan of action is totally pointless. When you end up somewhere comfortable several years from now on, (I mean mentally, financially, physically), you want to KNOW that you know what is on the other side. or other SIDES rather. Know what else is out there. You should feel the contentment that you have been there and done some of that. AND NOT FORGET your experiences.We always remember things that are important to us, whether our memory is sharp or not so sharp ;-). Well may be that's just an expectation that I set for myself.

I have been privileged to spend a lot of time in India over the last 2 years. I know now that that is always going to be the case from now onwards.  I have made good friends, strengthened some old friendships by several several notches. Met different people. Had some diverse conversations with them. I have learnt to value the right people and the right ideas. I have strengthened bonds and established contacts. Bla Bla..

I have shared jokes and chats about the local politics in India with acquaintances and new friends. I have met the poorest of  poor patients and have understood what their daily lives are about. Their values. Their perspectives. I have travelled the streets and roads of India as one among the irritating traffic of two wheelers and cars, staring at banners and slogans and temples and rituals. For someone referred to dismissively by some as an NRI, I know that I know India better than many locals ever would. ;-)

I pretty much managed to travel ALL over New Zealand!!  From Auckland to Dunedin. To Invercargill to Stewart Island. I have had many interesting experiences studying, working, and just living there. Some tough challenging ones when working in the wards and in an academic environment. Some heartening ones when a patient or family member or even a staff member appreciates your work. I have enjoyed tranquil beautiful environments. I have formed an amazing group of friends and no matter what I say, the positive impacts they have had on my life, wherever they are, cant be put in words....

All this, whilst obtaining a medical degree, working full time as a doctor and now I am in Melbourne. And melbourne or no melbourne, new experiences await.

This is just MY LIFE. That's just how its been.  I am just stating the facts with a shrug with no superlatives involved.   

ONTOLOGY is the philosophical study of existence, being or reality in general. There is a concept called ontological reciprocity, which suggests that we all try to find meaning for our existence in OTHER PEOPLE. We are most content when they hear our stories and understand them. We find meaning for our existence in other people's understanding of ourselves. I completely agree actually.

But I tell you what. just a thought i guess. How can I share all these experiences in a sensible way with any one person. If I do so, can I expect that someone would relate to each and every one of them personally. Is this a suitable "measuring scale" to determine how much some one knows me or will come to know me? I mean, even I wouldn't have digested all these things fully!! let alone be able to incorporate all these things into my projected personality at any one time. :-D

1. It is impossible
2. It is NOT necessary. I would even go to say that it is a waste of time to even have that expectation. And I am not speaking for just myself.

See what seems to make sense to me is this: The paramount factor determining the success of a relationship, e.g. a marriage, is NOT just some perceived similarity in personalities or similarities in life experiences. It is merely understanding, appreciation, sharing and acceptance of each other's DIFFERENCES, because when you GENUINELY get to that stage with someone, you can pretty much safely take your similarites for granted :-). It is that rare.

To maintain your sense and sensibilities when you have so much to tell, but so few to listen.... Ahh thank god for blogs. ;-)